they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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