Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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