I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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