PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
