So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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