How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
