Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize