yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
