There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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