I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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