I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
