So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
