Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
