dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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