im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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