Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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