I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
