My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
