Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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