my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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