She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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