Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
