Just mADE A PArabola og urine
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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