Buhtt sex?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize