how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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