So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
