i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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