I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
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