you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The feeling are messing with the penis
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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