we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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