Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
