she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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