toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
