i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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