Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
