So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Two words: blizzard sex
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
