Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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