Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
