Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
this just has baby written all over it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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