i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
