i think i have herpe
just one?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
