A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
