Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
