thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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