im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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