Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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