Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize