I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
