I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
