i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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