I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
so much tequila, so little girl.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
