Me too!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You smell like a Billy Joel song
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
