Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
