check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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