OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize