Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
