You're my little dorito
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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