She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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