why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
