i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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