she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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