The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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