we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
