it wasn't lemon gatorade
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
