She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize