Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
