Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
