dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
