It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
