nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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