'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
