I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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