Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
