you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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