Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
